Heartbreak Warfare.

Mon 9/14/2015 1:13 PM

I'll be honest here.

 This past week was the stinkin' pits! Take it however you want. 

 Satan.. Gosh. Satan totally sucks!!

 Regardless of how it all went, it was a huge eye opener to me. 

Huh, we sometimes have tough weeks, and tough experiences to actually learn something? Say what? Yep. It's super easy to look at these things like burdens rather than lessons, and to allow it to teach us a thing or two. Maybe even to count our blessings more, and recognize what we could possibly improve on. Anyone can easily be the first to ask God, "Why me?", and I'll be completely honest, I questioned that. However, it humbled me down a bit, because I realized that I was wrong. That the Lord was giving me a few trials as a blessing so that I could grow. I repented immediately.

 

With that said, I'll share a bit of what occurred.

All of our progressing investigators dropped us. Okay, I'm not lying at all, and totally laugh at me if you will, but this was the worst break up of my life!! Gee, I never thought.. Don't wanna go there, but let me tell you, when you really love your investigators and they drop you, gosh. It hurts! So bad. I don't think I've ever hurt that bad. It totally sucked. It was "the pits"! (Sis Griffith taught me that phrase, and I'm probably using it in the most incorrect way, but..) 

 Dylan. I'll probably binge on some chocolate after I express what happened with him. This was easily the toughest one I've had. He was doing so well! But when one is doing so well, and is drawing closer and closer to God and Christ, Satan taps on our weaknesses per say, and takes advantage. He doesn't want us to progress, and that's probably one of the toughest things for me, ever. (Like, I'm just so stoked for the Millennium!) Dylan was on this spiritual high, and was ready for his baptismal interview, when Satan knocked on his door.. I don't need to go into any further description, but he shot us a text expressing that he made up his mind after some thought and contemplation, and that he doesn't want to enter that straight and narrow gate- baptism. 

 

I truly felt like Satan punched me in the stomach. We were so heartbroken and distressed. It was the toughest thing. So much opposition all in one week. Don't think I've ever been on my knees begging God to help that person we'd so dearly come to love that much in my life. We were constantly praying for him, and at that point, I didn't even care the least bit amount for myself. I just wanted him to progress and allow God to help him so badly. I didn't understand why this was happening especially when it was for a good cause, but in my heart I realized that I shouldn't doubt God's plan or question His ways. I felt selfish. That he knew better, and knows what was best for Dylan. At that point, I realized that I needed to repent, and accepted what was happening. It hit me how powerful God is and how His way is always better. That this is His work, not mine. I felt as if my Savior's arms were around, comforting me and helping me recognize that we didn't do anything wrong, that it was all okay, and that Dylan would be okay. 

That night, we received a text from Dylan. He expressed that he has a lot going on right now, and that he needed to take things slower. He has a lot of personal things going on in his life, and it's just something that he wants to take slowly, which we understand. The Lord just needs to work on him a little bit more. We're here for him, not us. 

He hasn't kept contact with us since..

 

James. Now he seriously became a brother to me. He's progressed so much, but due to a few things, he's going to have to move. He left yesterday for Oregon. He came to church for his 3rd time and after we had a "Second Sunday Supper" after church, he took us off to the side, and told us that meeting with us has really helped him. That we needed to help his relationship with God grow, and we had done just that. He's felt and noticed that more, thus why he wants to improve that, and the best way for that to happen is by moving elsewhere. He told us that he knows the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true, and that he wants to find out his answer for baptism. We just love him so much! We've been able to see the Spirit guide us in every possible way to help him and guide him. It's been incredible. We gained so much charity for him, and we're just so excited to find out about his baptism. We were sad that we couldn't be there to teach him and watch him get baptized, but we realized that other missionaries may need him in their lives and need this experience more than we may, which we accepted. He also told us he was taking us Salsa dancing after he's baptized. Total inside joke, but it was hilarious. He was such a miracle. When we bore our testimonies to him, he bore one to us, and he totally cried. It was so tender. We're excited for him. He has a bright future, and it makes all the difference in our lives when we could help our investigators realize that.

 

We realized this past week that a ton of our investigators are in it for the wrong reasons, so we've passed them off.

I'll try to briefly explain the whole car door incident. 

So we went to a lesson I had to each in all Spanish. We didn't have any Spanish speaking members available to join this family we were going to teach. When we arrived, the father invited his brother in. Let's say he thought he was looking for something we weren't. Awkward because poor Sis Ballif didn't speak any Spanish, so she didn't really know what was going on. She did however, know how to read body language, which I'm grateful for. As I was teaching the Restoration, homeboy was just asking irrelevant questions on my personal life. Haha don't know how many times I had to express that my purpose as a missionary doesn't align to whatever his intentions were. Normally I wouldn't mention something like this, but it was hilarious. So I'm teaching about Joseph Smith and I asked him what he thought that Joseph did to receive an answer from God. his response, "Pray, but that's what I've been doing. I mean, I'm praying to find the right girl, and I know you're here for a reason.." and I'll end it at that. No further need to explain more. I expressed that just like he prayed for answers to his prayers, Joseph did just that, and shot straight into reciting the First Vision. After the lesson, I felt so uncomfortable, and his brother expressed that he knew his brother was attempting to flirt. We expressed it's not our purpose, and so now we're handing him off. So here's the best part. I was complaining about it to Sis. Ballif on the way out and filling her in on what happened that whole lesson. i was so annoyed, and as I was talking to her, I yanked the car door open so hard, and the edge of the door hit me straight in the eye. If I were any taller, it woulda knocked my eye out! So that was a humbling experience for me, and everyone thinks Sis Ballif and I duked it our in comp inventory or something. So there's a laugh for ya!

 Anyway,

We're so heartbroken that our progressing investigators left, but we realized that it's all due to the Lord's will, and he knows them best. It was such a privilege to be able to view them as God would, and love them as He would. It makes all the difference when you view them with eternal, spiritual eyes, rather than our physical mortal eyes. You grow to learn what charity is about, and I can testify of the truthfulness of that from the bottom of my heart.

 I was certainly humbled down this past week, and I realized it's another opportunity to trust my Heavenly Father more. I know this experience will help me down the road, and I'm grateful for the blessing I've been given to learn. 

 Again, I invite you all to continue to build your relationship with him. Pray to him. Ask him if He loves you. What he thinks of you. I've done that, and I can't even explain how sacred of an experience I had with that.

 

I love you all so much!

En realidad. Have a great week. I'm praying for you all.

 

Con amor,